ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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