did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize