hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
