Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
