It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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