I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
