Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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