im drinking this country out of the recession.
I smell stomach acid.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He kissed a someone with a penis
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
