i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
