i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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