I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
