Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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