All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i think i have herpe
just one?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
