i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
