WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
