This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
