Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
