The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
