I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
