You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
