His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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