she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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