guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
