yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
