took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
