But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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