He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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