I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
