I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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