It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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