We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
