How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
