awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The chlamydia really affected his face.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
