I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I can't put those talents on a resume
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
