Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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