I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
