She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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