I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
