I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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