This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
