He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
