you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
