I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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