Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
