fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
