96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
