So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
