found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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