So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
