It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
