If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
