Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
