One girl and one boy is just not enough.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
